Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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