Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize