is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize