in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
A+ Viking dick
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
