Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
