So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize