I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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