I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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