Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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