who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
