we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
