you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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