On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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