Dual....:-)
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
