i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My bed smells like the plague
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
