you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
