So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
