I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
