____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize