We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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