i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
