I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
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