Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
