Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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