I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
