So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
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