3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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