I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
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