i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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