WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
