yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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