I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
