you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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