if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
