I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Randomize
