If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
