Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
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