Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
