If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
