Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
