I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
