Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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