Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
