My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize