I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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