so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
