Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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