the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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