How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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