Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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