I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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