So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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