what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
