how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
