Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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