the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
