I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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