stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
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