what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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