Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Randomize
