Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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