this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Dicks are not precious.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
