I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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