12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
