i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
