Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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