So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize